It is a mutual friend of me and the boyfriends which I didn’t think was a bad thing since he was over at our house anyways.

Now I realize that I’m extremely territorial.

I like having my own space. Something to call my own. Someplace where I feel that I can let loose and let my proverbial freak flag fly. Now? I have to share. EVERYTHING. I have never been good at sharing really. I’m rather admittedly selfish. I have a complex about this, I realize.

First it was telling me that my entertainment center had to go. Because it was an eyesore.

…

Furthermore, there are now, RULES. I’ve never been good with that word either.

Second it was.. “We have a new rule. We eat at the table now”.

…

It feels as if I have no say in my own apartment anymore. The purpose of moving out of my parents was to do what I want. Instead of ASKING (you know..what most normal people do when they want something done for them, I am now TOLD what I’m doing. As I said to my boyfriend “You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar”.

Otherwise, I would have stayed at my parents house and dealt with their rules.

I hope I’m not being irrational. If someone would tell me that I am I will kindly put my tail between my legs and hide in a corner.

Otherwise, my somewhat selfish and slightly smug attitude will stay.

On a good note, work has gotten better. I’m finally getting close to the amount of hours I want to work which is good because I’ll hopefully be able to get my bills back in order. My friend Danielle (who works at the store with me) got promoted to a PT assistant manager at our Hampton store. Naturally, I am jealous that she is advancing at the same job we started together at but I’m happy for her because she deserves to have a job that she’s happy at. Hopefully I can advance soon as well.

Dance is becoming redundant. Gone are the days where I spent every day at the studio and actually enjoyed the company around me. Now I can’t seem to go to class and enjoy it. I find myself wanting to be challenged and I just can’t seem to be lately. And studios where I know that I could progress in my dancing cost more money than I’m willing to pay. One day. In the meantime, I’m going to find another hobby.

Maybe put that dusty electric guitar to good use. *shrug*

Dance classes started this week. I have a good set of kids in these classes which is good. I don’t think I have the patience anymore to really deal with unruly children. Saturday had to be the most annoying day of work, though. My boss becomes extremely high strung and annoying when she’s there. Honestly, I’ve been teaching for 6 years now and I understand my job description and duties that I’m responsible for. I don’t need her coming in class asking if I’ve handed out letters before class ends.

She needs to relax.

Or retire.

Saturday night I had dinner with my parents and brother (which my boyfriend was supposed to go to but didn’t want to..whatever.) at Ruby Tuesday. I’m so addicted to that place! I’m sure if I had the funds I would eat there everyday. Soup and salad bar. My favorite combination. (And also I feel less guilty eating that as opposed to anything else on their menu). After dinner I treated myself to a little retail therapy. I picked up the clothes I had on hold at Hot Topic and regretfully ran into my old co-worker from my last job.( The same dumbass I wrote an angry blog about. I can’t even believe I ran into her there.)

After I got home I just kind of laid in bed with the boyfriend.  He was supposed to go to a party with all of his friends but didn’t go because I wasn’t in the partying mood. (Which is a first because when I first found out I had the weekend off I couldn’t stop talking about it.)

Sunday was interesting. Me and the boyfriend had Ihop for breakfast and went to go see Avatar. IN 3D! I kept my 3D glasses

Good times.

1) To lose weight. (Yes. At the top of my list. I manage to do this every year but I’ve accomplished this one before and I’ll do it again, dammit. )

2) To finally enroll in school this summer and get my degree.

3) To try a new music class.

3) To read more books.

4.) (Maybe) Get a new hairstyle.

5) Actually save some money!

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I’ve been blogging for a good 6 years now. I’ve found it a place for me to vent my feelings and when of course when we started dating it was a place for me to really say how I feel about him and certain events that were happening in my life at the time.  I had the page open because I wanted to write something today.  I’ve had a hard time blogging about anything lately.

So he starts reading and of course he stumbles upon a private post. My immediate reaction was to stop him from reading it, even though I don’t really know why it was private in the first place. It wasn’t bad..just a venting session where I felt at my most vulnerable. He could have read it and probably not thought a thing about it but since I’ve poured my heart out in the past and had to explain to him why I was feeling that way of course my instant reaction was to not let him see it.

This of course sparked anger in him because he feels I’m being secretive(and of course I really am not and I really had no reason to keep him from reading it..it was just a stupid overreaction) and has hardly talked to me all day. I feel bad and it was stupid to act the way I did especially since I’ve become used to telling him everyday and if he reads this: I’m sorry.

No more waking up grumpy hating the fact I have to waste my gas driving to a place that I hate more than bad television.

No more sitting around and listening to “Well my baby’s daddy..” drama.

No more dealing with bitchy supervisors, getting dicked around and a shitty regime.

I found another job. And I couldn’t be more happier. Going back to retail..not back to HT but another store. I put in my 2 weeks Monday and next Friday will be my last day at that shitty collection agency. I couldn’t be happier.

And enough with the sad/annoying part.

Jon comes home in about 24 hours. I’m so excited! (Assuming he doesn’t remember and doesn’t read my blog) I plan on having a little surprise set up for him when he comes home. None of his friends have ever done anything special for him when he comes back from deployment or boot camp so I think he would really appreciate what I’m doing. Just have to go buy some decorations and an ice cream cake. (And not going to lie..I’m getting it a little bit for myself as well..I miss those!) And thankfully I took Friday and Saturday off from my job so we can spend some time together.  Although I am feeling a bit weird with him being home as well. I’ve officially adapted to the life of a military girlfriend and gotten used to the idea of him being gone. It’s going to feel a little weird with him being home all the time again but, nonetheless, I’m glad I get to see my baby.