I’ve managed to have my boyfriend break up with me, lost all of my dance classes except one due to “budget cuts”, and lose a promotion at my other job because my manager is besties with the girl she promoted, which also mean going back to work less than 20 hours a week.

My ex is fine with this breakup. Most of it he blames on me. While he sits on his computer every night verbally seducing girls over Yahoo! , I sit at home constantly wondering if things could be repaired or even if I want them to be repaired. It hurts. I’d love to just leave but I have nowhere to go. Supposedly he’s fine with us “just being friends” but somehow I don’t think friends still act like they’re dating. :/

Thanks to my boss being a huge “See you next Tuesday”, she cut everyone one of my classes with the exception of one due to “budget cuts”. Supposedly over a month ago we weren’t even going to lose any classes because the studio brought in money. Then 3 weeks later, she sends an e-mail stating that the city massively cut her budget. One of the other teachers on Saturday isn’t even teaching this summer and instead of letting me keep my classes she cut mine and let me take hers. Come to find out, I may not even be getting those classes back.

And alas, my retail job. I’d love it if it weren’t for my manager. No one started at the same level, nothing was fair. She brought in people she knew and gave them all the hours and I fought hard and long to be able to work close to the hours I was promised. Summer comes and all of her favorites stop calling out all the time and she decides that they’ve earned the hours they’re given. And all the while both of our assistant managers were out on injuries she promoted her favorite employee to a position that I was supposed to be given 3 months earlier. As long as she’s there I will not have a future in the company. So hopefully I get promoted to do NSO( which means travelling around the country setting up stores) otherwise I need another job.

I hope all the bad is over.  I’m hoping there’s nothing but good from here on out.

Do you think your ex still wants to be with you?
Probably. He gave up a while ago but he is rather persistent.

Has a boyfriend/ girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?
No.

Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment?
Ridiculously.

Do you like when people call you things like “baby”, “sweetie”, “hun”, etc?
If it’s my significant other or close friends. Outsiders need not apply.

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
It’s not possible to have a baby with another female.

Will this Friday be a good one?
Let’s hope so. I get paid.

Do you believe that love lasts forever?
Sometimes.

What’s wrong with you right now?
Ha. Ha.

When will your next kiss be?
Whenever he decides he likes my face enough.

Who was the last person in bed with you?
Jon.

Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately?
I’ve been happier lately. Less stress.

Are you wasting your time on someone?
No. At least, I don’t believe so.

What’s the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?
Trust.

Where do you wish you were right now?
Anywhere but here.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?
Yes.

Have you ever broken anyone’s heart?
Don’t think so.

Tell the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
How disgustingly honest he is. He’s not afraid to tell you that you’re being stupid to your face. Plus he’s so silly.

Is there a person that will always have a place in your heart?
Yes. He will whether I want him to or not.

Does someone like you right now?
I hope so.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with B, H, E or J ?
Yes.

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship?
Yes.

Honestly, what’s on your mind?
Change.

When was the last time you kissed someone?
Today.

Is there a person that means a lot to you?
There’s a few people who mean a lot to me.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
Yes.

If you married the last person that you texted what would your last name be?
If gay marriage were legal? Goldberg.

What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you think of last summer?
Stress.

Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love?
Anything possible.

Still at my current place of employment. I’m relatively happy there. I wish a few things would change but eh..what can you do. I’m still hoping sometime soon I’ll get a promotion and have my hard work recognized.

One day.

Me and the boyfriend have had a rocky few months. So much has happened I don’t know if it’s going to cripple us or make it better. Still waiting for the verdict on that one. I hate waiting to see how things will turn out.

The roommate situation is still pretty interesting. We’re not friends like we used to be but we’re trying to stay civil with each other. I’m still adjusting to this whole situation.  I wonder if I ever will.

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It is a mutual friend of me and the boyfriends which I didn’t think was a bad thing since he was over at our house anyways.

Now I realize that I’m extremely territorial.

I like having my own space. Something to call my own. Someplace where I feel that I can let loose and let my proverbial freak flag fly. Now? I have to share. EVERYTHING. I have never been good at sharing really. I’m rather admittedly selfish. I have a complex about this, I realize.

First it was telling me that my entertainment center had to go. Because it was an eyesore.

…

Furthermore, there are now, RULES. I’ve never been good with that word either.

Second it was.. “We have a new rule. We eat at the table now”.

…

It feels as if I have no say in my own apartment anymore. The purpose of moving out of my parents was to do what I want. Instead of ASKING (you know..what most normal people do when they want something done for them, I am now TOLD what I’m doing. As I said to my boyfriend “You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar”.

Otherwise, I would have stayed at my parents house and dealt with their rules.

I hope I’m not being irrational. If someone would tell me that I am I will kindly put my tail between my legs and hide in a corner.

Otherwise, my somewhat selfish and slightly smug attitude will stay.

On a good note, work has gotten better. I’m finally getting close to the amount of hours I want to work which is good because I’ll hopefully be able to get my bills back in order. My friend Danielle (who works at the store with me) got promoted to a PT assistant manager at our Hampton store. Naturally, I am jealous that she is advancing at the same job we started together at but I’m happy for her because she deserves to have a job that she’s happy at. Hopefully I can advance soon as well.

Dance is becoming redundant. Gone are the days where I spent every day at the studio and actually enjoyed the company around me. Now I can’t seem to go to class and enjoy it. I find myself wanting to be challenged and I just can’t seem to be lately. And studios where I know that I could progress in my dancing cost more money than I’m willing to pay. One day. In the meantime, I’m going to find another hobby.

Maybe put that dusty electric guitar to good use. *shrug*

Dance classes started this week. I have a good set of kids in these classes which is good. I don’t think I have the patience anymore to really deal with unruly children. Saturday had to be the most annoying day of work, though. My boss becomes extremely high strung and annoying when she’s there. Honestly, I’ve been teaching for 6 years now and I understand my job description and duties that I’m responsible for. I don’t need her coming in class asking if I’ve handed out letters before class ends.

She needs to relax.

Or retire.

Saturday night I had dinner with my parents and brother (which my boyfriend was supposed to go to but didn’t want to..whatever.) at Ruby Tuesday. I’m so addicted to that place! I’m sure if I had the funds I would eat there everyday. Soup and salad bar. My favorite combination. (And also I feel less guilty eating that as opposed to anything else on their menu). After dinner I treated myself to a little retail therapy. I picked up the clothes I had on hold at Hot Topic and regretfully ran into my old co-worker from my last job.( The same dumbass I wrote an angry blog about. I can’t even believe I ran into her there.)

After I got home I just kind of laid in bed with the boyfriend.  He was supposed to go to a party with all of his friends but didn’t go because I wasn’t in the partying mood. (Which is a first because when I first found out I had the weekend off I couldn’t stop talking about it.)

Sunday was interesting. Me and the boyfriend had Ihop for breakfast and went to go see Avatar. IN 3D! I kept my 3D glasses

Good times.