Selective Irreverance..

Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

I miss you..

I apologize it’s been awhile since my last update. Life has been hectic the last two weeks.

For starters me and the boyfriend got into a car accident. It was his fault, sadly and he was a right mess before he left for Guam. He’s going to be there until the 21st. (And won’t let me forget that he has a layover each way in Hawaii. Jealousy, party of one!) So when he comes back he’s got a lot of stuff to do. Poor boy.

I’m on the fence about being gone. On the one hand I’m definitely cherishing my time alone ( especially the loads of reflection time.) but at the same time I miss him bunches already. It’s going to be super weird when he goes away to Tech school in August if this is what it’s going to be like.

And bugger for some reason my rent check bounced so I have to go there in the morning and pay. IDK how that happened but I’m like “PLEASE DON’T KICK ME OUT!!!”,atm.

Other than that..life’s been busy with work. Recital is coming up so instead of just working at the collections agency I’m going from there to extra rehearsals for my dance students. I’d rather be doing that anyways but eh.

My cousin Mecca graduates from high school tomorrow. I’m excited for her. She’s going to college in the fall and her life is on track. My sister on the other hand.. -.- I wish she would just get it right. My neice however has 4 teeth already. 4! Especially since the last time she had none..I told my sister to bring the baby around so I can at least see her.

So that’s the abridged version of my life so far. I’m hoping things will get better this month. For me and the boy.

Do your trick, turn on the stars..

Me and the boyfriend have obviously spent too much time together.

I never thought I’d say that but this past week has been extremely evident. We both had a vacation this week (Well he really had one and I took one so we could spend some time together) and were supposed to go to Michigan to go visit his cousins but couldn’t go since both of our tax money didn’t come in. So we lazily slept in being careless about the time and day. I will honestly say it’s been good not to have to wake up at 7 am every day and start calling people for 8 hours a day just to collect money. I do cherish the time we spend together (when of course he’s not glued to his computer) but I guess on top of living together being together all hours of the day is a recipe for arguements.

I will say they have been stupid arguments but mostly each time we’ve argued I’ve always felt he was shaking his proverbial finger at me blaming me for whatever went wrong. Which in turn automatically makes me an introvert for whatever went wrong for fear of being blamed for such.

Fast forward to last night which I would describe as: epic failure.

Of course my friends were coming: Danielle, Matt and Rebekah. It’s so good to hang out with Dani and Matt again. Matt cracks me up and never ceases to make me laugh whenever I’m feeling sad. Jason originally stated he was coming over(which made me go “eh” but was bringing his xbox so he would be occupied) but when I returned his phone call stated he was “bringing somebody”. When asked “Who?” he kept saying “It’s a surprise” which kept pissing me off because he didn’t answer my question. Eventually Jon was like “If you don’t tell us who you’re bringing, you can’t come”. He said “Fine I’m not coming” and hung up. Which didn’t bother me at all.

About an hour later I hear a knock on my door and of course he’s there but with Joey. She’s alright..I’ve only hung out with her a few times but I wasn’t opposed to her hanging out. Her and Jason hung out with Jon in his room while he was playing WoW and didn’t really talk to any of my friends. That annoyed the crap out of me especially since the girl has a track record of flirting with every man in the room.(I have witnessed it and he told me about her sitting on his lap and stuff which set me OFF.)

Needless to say, the rest of the night I was upset and was being extremely cold to him. When I finally woke up out of my drunken state I felt really bad for being mean to him. Later tonight we got into an arguement about it again where I felt he was attacking me so I closed up and once he left I couldn’t stop the tears of frustration from falling so I immediately took a drive to relax. We finally talked about it and I felt better but after our talk and just sitting together he left to go jump on his computer to talk to..whoever he “talks” to. (I use the term loosely because it’s really more of girls being skanky on cam than talking. But whatever) So of course that leads to me venting my frustrations now a mere 3 hours before I have to go to work to be annoyed for 8 hours.

Sometimes I wish he would understand where I’m coming from. But I’m sure he thinks the same of me too.

You took the world with you..

As long as me and Jon have been dating/known each other/etc. we  have never been on the same page. You’ll be glad to know that I finally got my Olive Garden dinner!Hilarities ensued as to how it happened. It happened Thursday evening. I was supposed to sub for Leah and I, of course, was in no rush to get home since I thought Jon was asleep. When I finally looked at my phone after coming out of dance I saw that I had a voicemail from him and checked my phone. He had asked when I was coming home and since I was on my way home I felt in no rush to get there.

Of course when I got home, he was dressed and laying in my bed with the covers over his face. When I pulled back the covers he grins and yells “I’m mad at you!”. Apparently he had planned on surprising me with dinner when I came home and thought that I was coming home straight after work at around 5:30 pm so he could really be ready. It took about 30 minutes to reconvince him to take me out, even though he was tired, and we finally went to dinner.

I always feel overdressed when I go now. Whereas we always dress up whenever we go the crowd around us is usually in jeans and t-shirts. Not to mention all the kids that run around there now. Dinner was okay..I just ordered boring old fettucine alfredo while he had some sort of chicken tortellini dish. Conversations in these types of settings make me nervous. He always wants to have some sort of serious discussion about us that usually involve me explaining my feelings (which he knows I’m terrible at) in which he stated “I’m stubborn over the pettiest things”. Guilty. But he knows I’m terrible at telling my feelings and if I feel some sort of disappointment I shut down. My emotions are all I have in this relationship. And given how turbulent things have been in the past, I’m trying to protect them as best I can. I wish he understood that.

But the night ended well. So, happy camper.

I don’t like food anyways.

You know the whole point of living with someone is to interact with them on a daily basis because you really want to.

It annoyed the hell out of me that I was promised dinner at Olive Garden and when he woke up at 10:30 PM I don’t get so much as a “Hello” or “I’m sorry we’ll rain check for tomorrow” because that would be just presumptuous.  I get a look and then him walking up to go play WoW which he’s been at since he woke up. It’s just incredibly disappointing I don’t even get a hello since you know I was PROMISED dinner and I bet you he doesn’t even remember. UGH.

Whatever.  I’ll just play the ignore game. I’m good at that.

Reality Bites.

My name is Jasmine.

And I’m addicted to reality television.

The Real World, Rock of Love Bus, For the love of Ray J, Tough Love, Super Nanny, Wife Swap.

Oh how I give you all so much of my attention. I can’t even turn away from you when you repeat yourselves. And I already know what happens!

You are my current drug of choice. An addiction that I need to be rid of and yet I cannot seem to avert my eyes!

..Maybe I’ll get addicted to something where I’ll actually learn something super useful.

First comes love, then comes..

If you had asked me 3 years ago if any of my friends would be married by the time we’re all 23 I would have said that you are crazy. My friend (former best friend I guess..we haven’t really spoken in about 6 months) Shawn is getting married this year to a girl, Christie, who as a very sweet girl but only 19 years old. There’s a part of me that’s extremely happy for him; happy he’s found someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with however I’m a little worried since they’ve only been dating for about 7 months.(I guess that only matters to some people. The length is a moot point I guess if you’ve known each other for years) He’s known her for years..she’s a family friend and a good friend to his younger sister. I don’t know if I’m just sounding calloused or genuinely concerned.

On another side I’m extremely jealous. Although I’m overtly rational and believe I’m too young to be married to anyone (especially since divorce rates are so high)  however sometimes I wish that someone felt that strongly about me. She has made him a better person though. And even though our friendship has been strained I’m happy for him.

Maybe my time will come although I’m too selfish to want to tolerate someone forever..one day I’ll get to that point. I hope.